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Business Stationary Mart - The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children
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List Price: $15.00
Our Price: $6.28
Your Save: $ 8.72 ( 58% )
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Manufacturer: Penguin (Non-Classics)
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Average Customer Rating:  
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Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 649
EAN: 9780142196007
ISBN: 0142196002
Label: Penguin (Non-Classics)
Manufacturer: Penguin (Non-Classics)
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 304
Publication Date: 2001-11-01
Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics)
Release Date: 2001-10-30
Studio: Penguin (Non-Classics)
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Spotlight customer reviews:
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Customer Rating: 
Summary: The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children.
Comment: The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children. Wendy Mogel, 2001, 304 pages.
When our Cadets came back from The Leader Development and Assessment Course a few of them complained that the hardest part of the course was being "bubble wrapped". This "bubble wrapping" created a risk adverse mentality and did not promote resiliency. Bubble wrapping a child is the underlying sub-text of the book, "The Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children". The author is not a proponent of physical, spiritual, or emotional "bubble wrapping". Not that the author advocates a completely hands off "Lord of the Flies" type of parenting style. Rather the author advocates providing the structure for children to grow and learn acknowledging that there will be falls, bruises, and spills. The goal of a parent in her vision is to teach resiliency so that the child has experience in choices, consequences, success, and limitations by the time they leave the parental nest and venture out on their own. The end state goal is a self-reliant, resilient adult.
This book like most good parenting tomes is not a specific matrix to follow or an iron clad situational cause and effect program. A book of that type would be antagonistic to the over all concept of this book. Too often I have noticed that parents pick up these type of books looking for a quick fix or silver bullet to solve a parenting issue that the are having. People get caught up in the exact how and bypass the why and what. This book is about providing a guiding structure or underpinning guidance.
To that end the book is a valuable tool and I can recommend it. The Jewishness of the text is not an obstacle unless the reader chooses to make it an obstacle. Much of the Jewsihness is encapsulated in two methods. The first is the use of pithy but relevant quotes and observations from the Talmud. The bulk of these observations are non-religious and merely life observations. The second encapsulated method is the advocacy of Friday night Shabbat diner. If the reader understand the why and the what than it becomes merely a ritualized family diner and time. The ritual is in the parameters and not in the faith process.
I have seen and listened to many parents who `bubble wrap" their children. Most often this protective padding is related not to physical aspects but to emotional or freedom aspects. When you routinely make your child's choices for them they do not learn how to make their own choices. What you create is a fragile clone of yourself which is liable to snap and shatter because it is not a real self-owned person.
Parenting like mentoring is hard work. The easy route of authoritarianism or doing it your self is a decided betrayal of faith and a disregard for the uniqueness of each person. As a parent you will make mistakes, each mistake is a teaching opportunity in resiliency and repentance. In these moments we teach truer and more important lessons than when we are lecturing about basic math or morality. The question comes down to the notion of dictator or director. The dictator will inevitably face rebellion. The director provides the guidance and direction but leaves the how and the task to the directed. In other words do you teach your child what to think or how?
Customer Rating:
Summary: Relevant and Informing
Comment: Although my family is not Jewish, reading 'Blessings of a Skinned Knee' gave me a new perspective on the various ways of raising children. Having three kids myself, I need all the help I can get, and found this book a great guide.
No time to read the whole book? Check out the 8 page summary at parentsdigest.com
Customer Rating:
Summary: Translate
Comment: As a Christian pastor, I find this book extremely helpful in working with families. And, I also find it easy to translate into "Christian." My two copies have already found their way out out of my office into other hands (hands of young parents.)
Customer Rating:
Summary: The Blessing of a Skinned Knee
Comment: This is a great guide on how to guide our children to a productive life. I learned some great techniques. I am not Jewish but the principles are the same for a Christian family. Thank you for sharing your wisdoms
Customer Rating:
Summary: Succinct Wisdom
Comment: I don't use the word "wise" very often, but that's how the author and her book strikes me. My son is not quite two, and I imagine that I'll be dipping into this book many times over the years to remind myself of key points and fortify myself for battles at home.
I'm a non-practicing Jew who grew up observant. This book was recommended to me by a Christian friend, and I was pretty resistant to the idea of reading a book informed by Jewish tradition and law. After all, that's exactly what I have chosen to walk away from as an adult.
Well, I'm here to tell you now that Jewish or not, religious or not, there's a lot of meat in a small number of pages in this is book, and nearly all of it resonated with me. Whether it's guidance about establishing authority, recognizing that your child is not your masterpiece, or resisting the pressure to push your child to perfection, Dr. Mogel has strong words for parents. She also has much to say about valuing time, valuing chores, and valuing your marriage or partnership (if you are in one) while you rear your children.
Another theme that hit home with me was respect: respecting the opinion and advice of grandparents, teachers, and other parents; respecting your child in the way you parent him or her in all aspects; and respecting your own strengths, needs, and limitations.
I loved reading this book, and if I can be mindful of even a part of its advice, I know I'lll be a better parent for it. What I really wish, though, is that Dr. Mogel could live next door to me!
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Editorial Reviews:
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Every parent hopes their child will be self-reliant, optimistic, and well mannered, a challenge in our current culture. Clinical psychologist and Jewish educator Wendy Mogel distills the ancient teachings of the Torah, the Talmud, important Jewish thinkers, and contemporary psychological insights into nine blessings that address key parenting issues such as:
* determining realistic expectations for each child
* respect for adults
* chores
* mealtime battles
* coping with frustration
* developing independence and self-control
* resisting over-scheduling and over-indulgence
The Blessing of a Skinned Knee guides us toward effective, enlightened parenting in an increasingly speedy, material, and competitive age.
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